Every young woman who has ever been involved with the LDS Mutual Program has heard the analogy of the apple tree. We are the beautiful apples who are high up on the tree and very hard to reach easily but because of it, we don't get lots of attention from boys. We need to wait for a boy to come around who will be willing to climb the tree and pick us, rather than pick up one of the fallen apples from off the ground. I have often wondered if the young men ever get the same type of story. I bring this up because I have realized something as of late: this story goes both ways! If I want a really good guy, the kind of guy my dad wants for me and the kind of guy I want for my children, then I need to be willing to crawl and scrap and climb to the top of the tree and find him. This will require patience, courage, perseverance, and a few of those other hard to practice virtues.
Another applicable quote is this: "Every time we give in to our short-term desires, we put off reaching our long-term goals." Granted, I read this is in a chapter about dieting, but I think that it still applies. A friend of mine told me this morning that I seem to be a little bit of a "douche magnet" and that makes reaching my long-term goal (a really good guy as a husband) hard to reach. These fella's I seem to attract are cute, fun to cuddle with and seemingly nice, but very few of them have the qualities that I want in my partner, so the question is, "Why do I pick them up?" The answer, "Because they are easy to reach." Shallow, yes, but it's the truth. That's not saying that every guy I've ever dated is "easy to reach," it is saying that as of late I am not climbing high enough.
I can think of three guys off the top of my head that I would love a chance to get to know better, but they are VERY high up on the tree and will take lots of work with no guarantee of a reward. Again, shallow, I know. As I have been contemplating this, I have come to a crossroads. I can either keep my eyes on the ground, searching for the easy to reach apples and satisfaction of my short-term desires, or I can look up, put on my gloves and start climbing towards the beautiful apples and my long-term goals. Another downside to aiming so high up on the tree is that if I fall, it is a long way back to the ground and it will hurt when I land. So the next question I have for myself is, "Is it worth it?"
I don't think I've ever heard that story in the young men's program or in elders quorum. Its a good analogy. However, women aren't fruit. Fruit don't have a choice who picks them, women do. If they want to get picked by the best they have to put themselves in the best places. The apples at the top of the tree may be the best but they aren't always picked because they're unreachable, inaccessible, or their existence isn't known.
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