I believe that Jesus Christ is my savior and that the Lord God, my Father in Heaven, loves me. I fervently believe that Earth is our learning ground where we learn about ourselves and other people; where we learn and grow into better versions of ourselves, whatever that might be. I believe that there is not a single perfect person on this planet right now; we make mistakes and screw up but that's okay! I believe that God, in His wisdom, knew that we would make mistakes and He did, and is doing, everything in His power to help us make good choices and remain close to Him. One of those things that God did for us was to orchestrate a plan wherein one of His sons would be sacrificed on the alter of the world for all those who would live in it. This son was Jesus Christ.
For all my faith and belief in Jesus Christ, I haven't read the New Testament, the holy script about His ministry on Earth, since I was a freshman in high school. At this crossroads in my life, when I am struggling with what I believe, who I am, and what I want from my existence, I think it is important for me to re-ground myself in what I believe. And that is Christ.
I am scared that I am losing my base. As I have been reading and investigating and talking to people about the LDS Church I have been becoming increasingly more frightened about the direction things are headed. I want so badly for God to speak to me, to give me that "Go here, do this," direction that He gave Joseph Smith, Jr, all those years ago. (Knockin' on Heaven's Door by Bob Dylan just came on...) But as much as I want that direct instruction, I know that God won't give it to me because this life, and this Earth, were made so that I could learn how to be me and to do what is right. I just wish that God would tell me something, or answer me anything... Somewhere in the Book of Mormon, I don't remember quite where, someone says that God doesn't answer the prayers of the wicked... But what if the wicked just want to know if God and Christ are true and right?
God may not answer the wicked, but he does answer His children who have humbled themselves before Him. God will answer the prayer of the sinner but not those who are "wicked," seeking wicked purposes. He loves His children and wants more than anything to give each of us what we need and want as long as those desires are good.
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