I have an obsession with weddings, in a bad way. There, I admit it. I am obsessed with weddings! And engagements, and marriages, and divorce, and relationships!! And this isn't an obsession wherein I have already booked my venue, bought my dress, picked a band, and have a photographer on standby while I wait for my true love. No, this is an obsession wherein I scour Facebook for changes in relationship status, engagement and wedding pictures, and frequently comment, out loud for anyone within earshot to hear, "Why the hell do people get married so young?!," all whilst I bemoan my singleness.
After having two almost-engagements I am so tired of watching my peers tying the knot and looking so happy that it makes me sick. I'm happy for them, sure, but I'm also jealous to the point of madness. And it's not even that I want to have a wedding. My sister says that if she had the money she would just rent grooms and throw a wedding for herself every few years; me, I'm not like that. I want a best friend who will always be there, a man to have on call for cuddling, a person to fight with, and make with up, a man to build a life and home with, someone to come home to and go to bed with. If pressed to it, I would gladly give up the whole wedding/reception/honeymoon package if it meant that I got to put a ring on my love's finger and call us husband and wife.
I am currently dating, in mine and my siblings opinion, the perfect man for me. He is kind, caring, funny, nerdy, intelligent, capable of deep conversations while watch The Simpsons, he loves animals (dogs, cats, and chickens particularly) and most importantly, he's in love with me. There are so many levels on which we match so well! We certainly have our differences for sure but they aren't so big that I have to change myself to make it work. I love him and yes, I want to marry him.
I want him to put a ring on my finger as a sign to the world that there isn't anyone else he's rather be with. I want to move into a small married-college student apartment with him and have to scrape to make ends meet; I want to come home to him every night. I want to go with him when he goes out of state to study Astrophysics and I want to settle down in Logan-type town were he will be a teacher and I will be a therapist. I want to have babies with this man and watch as my parents transform into kick-ass grandparents, and we transform into what-the-hell-are-we-doing parents. I want to raise my babies, and teach them to drive and to have respect for other people as well as Mother Earth and so many other things. And I know that this man would make a great, if not perfect, partner in that adventure.
Yes, I'm 21, just a little kid. And yes, I have a very long life ahead of me. And yes, I very often say "why the hell do people get married so young?" but even though I can't answer for those scores of boys and girls going to the chapel, or temple, I can answer for myself in a very cliched way, "Because when you find the one you want to build a life with, you want to start building it right away."
Stupid computer won't let me post, so here goes on the iPad! You articulate your position very well! Just be patient... life with the wrong person can be very long. I myself wouldn't know as I'm married to the future kick-ass Grandpa D! We are not in a hurry to change our status, though, so take all the time you need! We love you!
ReplyDeletePatience for me, is my life's biggest most hardest challenge...so I feel the pain. I felt the same way just before I met Doug. But you are young and the more you are able to figure yourself out and be in a good place, the better your future marriage will be.
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