Monday, May 23, 2011
love and expectations
It has been said that when you love someone you should love and accept all of them, faults and perfections. Does that mean that if there is something that bothers you about the person you should either learn to live with it or break up with them? Is it wrong to think that it's okay to change for someone if the change is in a positive direction? Of course that brings in the ambivalence of "a positive direction." That is to say that what is a positive direction for me could be seen as a negative direction for another person. So... what do you think?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Only you can decide what constitutes a deal breaker in a relationship. Dad can't dance, something I once thought was essential in a mate. I got over it. He also has a very different sense of humor, something we've had to work on! And as you've no doubt noticed, I can make him guffaw out loud! The most important thing, IMHO, is do I want to face the world without him? No, I do not. I like having him to talk to at the end of the day, and I like unloading my crap on him. And I love that after 22 years together he still thinks he's lucky to have me! Yes, I am that self- centered that I think his best quality is how much he loves me! And I feel lucky to have him. Does that answer your question?
ReplyDeleteI think a true "fault" that could mean a deal breaker is something that goes against your moral code, the fundamentals that make you who you are. Your mom is very wise. :)
ReplyDeleteYou also are wise, young Chessy! You make a good point. When I re-read your post, Erin, I realized I didn't really answer your question. The only person you can really change for is yourself. It's hard to stay motivated for anybody else over the long run. Those we love can sometimes gently turn us in the right direction, but only if we are convinced that their love for us is based on who we really are, and not an image they've created in their own mind of who they'd like us to be.
ReplyDeleteYou can only change you, and they can only change they. For change to be successful, it must be self-motivated. I agree with tu madre on this one.
ReplyDelete