finally over

For those of you who have seen The Holiday, do you remember the scene when Kate Winslet tells her unrequited love, Jasper, that things are over?

"It's over! It's finally over!! This twisted, toxic, THING between us is finally over!..."

Every time I think the words, "It's over," I hear a British accent.

Tyler Glaittli is finally out of my life in all forms.

Yesterday he texted me, telling me that he was sorry for all the pain he caused me, and that he missed me so much he couldn't sleep well and he'd lost his appetite. He told me that he realized that he hadn't treated me very well, that he wasn't compassionate towards my feelings and that he wished he'd have tried harder in our relationship. He told me that he hopes I find someone who is better then him. I responded to that text with the four words, "I think I have." He stopped texting me.

When I got home and opened my facebook account, there was his most recent post, made around the time he was telling me how much he missed me: Is there anybody going to listen to my story. It's the first line from the song Girl by The Beatles. The rest of the song goes: ...all about the girl who came to stay. She's the kinda girl you want so much it makes you sorry, still you don't regret a single day. That was a song he sang often, when referring to me. I posted as my status: My words have been said, my tears have been shed. There's nothing left to do but ramble on. That song, Ramble On, holds such deep meaning to us both, I knew he'd get it; "move on, I am."

Tonight, as I performed my ritualistic logging on to facebook, I noticed something odd: my friend numbers had dropped. I looked through my friends list wondering who was missing, and I had a good guess. Sure enough, Tyler Glaittli was gone. I searched his name and facebook told me that there was an error in the processing of my request. I looked up his sister; his name didn't show up in her friends. I looked up his mom; again, his name didn't show up. He had blocked me. After 19 months of broken hearts and tears and laughter and loving, he's gone.

I have moved on from Tyler, but then again, I'd moved on from him before only to return to his familiar arms. It's an odd feeling, not having him there on facebook... Like, realizing you don't have an old book sitting on your shelf anymore. You always thought it would be there, even though you had no intention of reading it again but now that it's gone you kinda miss it. I do miss Tyler. But the Tyler that I loved and dated, and the Tyler that I texted last night are not the same person. I miss the Tyler I loved. But I don't miss him enough to go looking for him. I will go through some mourning over this.

I do think I've found someone better than Tyler. Alex isn't grossed out by my dry, flaky, red skin. In fact, he spent about 15 minutes going over my face with tweezers pulling off the flakes. Some would say that's weird, I think that's wonderful. Alex is a nerd like me and loves to be spontaneous and goof off. He can watch a deep, thoughtful movie and discuss it with me, but he loves The Simpsons and he likes to watch Scrubs with me. Alex tells me every day that I'm beautiful and pretty and "a lightweight." Alex and I can sit on a couch next to each other for hours and never say a word, just read separate books. He also really likes when I read to him; we're reading Star Wars right now. Alex loves to cuddle up close to me and talk to me about anything and everything. I know I've only known him for two months and that things could change and he could turn out exactly like Tyler, but I seriously doubt that. Only time will tell.