be who you are at all times and in all places

Don't you love it when people act one way with one group of friends and a completely different way with another group? I'm a pretty good girl, I try to keep my cussing in check and I know how and when to be respectful. But on the same side of that coin, I'm kinda crude in that I do have some colorful language, and I'm not ashamed to talk about the kitten I dissected for my 19th birthday (it. was. awesome!) or things like that... you know, non-girly, nerdy type things. Not too long ago, I would try to be more girly around guys I liked and I wouldn't be my real self, because I was told that it was "too tomboy." Well, I got into a relationship and since I hadn't really been myself at the beginning, it was hard to be myself once I was in the thick of things. I eventually lost my mind in that relationship because I felt like I couldn't be "me" and that was entirely my fault. Since the end of that relationship, I have been striving to be me at all times and in all places. That means holding my tongue when I really want to just let the colors fly, and speaking up for what I believe in when it might not be the "popular" thing.

I love it when I find people who aren't afraid to be themselves and who stand up for what they think, no matter what those thoughts may be. Sure, I may not agree with you 100% of the time, but I'll admire you for having the guts to be you. I love it when people are upfront and honest from the start because then it makes it so easy to get to them and learn to trust them, which is the basis of any good relationship. I'd rather people were themselves and we find out that our personalities just don't jive than end up being friends or friendlier and emotionally involved then find out we don't jive.

If you don't know how to be yourself at all times and in all places, then write down your values- decided what you like and don't like and what you support and don't support then look at your list. Think about all the places you go each week, school, religious services, social activities, and review your list- do you like and support the same things in each of those places? If not, figure out why! Do you support one thing at church and not at school because it's the popular thing to do at the time? If so, that is no bueno. Have confidence in yourself. If you're afraid of losing friends over letting your real self show, then those friends weren't true friends in the first place.

I will stipulate that some mannerisms offend some people and you must make the very personal decision of whether or not those people are worth changing those mannerisms for. If they are worth changing for, than there is no shame in changing. If they aren't worth changing for, than there could be shame in changing anyway.

At the end of the day, are you proud of yourself? Do you like who you are? Can you sleep peacefully at night?